Goodbye

 "You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place...like you'll not only miss the people you love but you'll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you'll never be this way ever again."  - Azar Nafisi  

After our whirlwind trip we had a few days to pack up everything and say goodbye to the people and places of Suphan.  We made sure to do all of our favorite things one more time, including swimming at the pool, playing tennis, going to the mall and grocery store, and of course, eating at all of our favorite restaurants.  It was actually a challenge to strategically plan all of our final meals to get everything in, but we managed to do it. Fittingly, our last meal in Suphan was pad thai...from pad thai lady, of course. (Our last meal in Thailand was Subway at the airport, but I won't count that).

Typical Thai table setting

My favorite lunch ladies

Goodbye dinner with our coordinator, Wattana

I felt really emotional packing all of our stuff and taking down the pictures on the wall.  It's the same when you leave anywhere, but you realize how many little things you took for granted that you know you'll miss when you're gone. Our school arranged a van to drive us to the airport, but since our flight left so late we had multiple hours to kill. It ended up working out well, because we had to do a lot of rearranging with our luggage to make sure everything fit under the weight limit. Our plane took off around midnight and I waved a bittersweet goodbye to Thailand out of the airplane window.

Goodbye dinner with our closest friends...Four of us ate all of that food.

Tennis instructor, extraordinaire

Getting back to America was very overwhelming at first. A few things stood out as being much different than the Thai lifestyle we just left behind.  It was hard to handle the amount of English we could hear around us.  We were so used to tuning all the other voices out, and our ears would perk up anytime we heard an English speaker.  So standing in line at immigration in Chicago was almost a sensory overload; we just couldn't process all the voices. Another big thing we noticed getting back was just how spacious and spread out everything is in America.  In Thailand, every house is touching the other, there are no yards or open spaces in the cities, and hardly any sidewalks; so we were very aware of the openness.

Oasis: Thai version

I know everyone talks about the pace of life in other countries, but it's actually true that we tend to speed things up in America. Everyone has places to be and doesn't want to waste one second getting there.  On our way back to Michigan, we stopped at a gas station and I was buying something at the register.  After I got my change I could just feel the pressure from the cashier and the guy behind me to hurry the f*** up.  I was actually really disoriented and stressed out, just from that simple interaction.  I can't imagine how non-Americans feel when they come here. A big posititive (at first at least) was that first breath of crisp, fresh, cold air we got leaving the airport.  Even though we were in the middle of Chicago, it felt like air straight from a Swiss valley blown down from the Alps.  We were just so used to the stifling, hot, wet, Thai air. But I'm totally over that now....give me back the heat.

Over the last few months, we've had a lot of time to contemplate our experiences, and the decision we made to come home. It's a difficult thing; we were so happy, living so well, and loving and learning every day in Thailand. I felt content with the life that we made, and that's what you're supposed to strive for, right? But no matter how much I loved our Suphanburi life, the real world was calling (along with my student debts) so I knew we made the right choice to come home. We missed our families and friends, along with the prospect of a more intellectual and beneficial career (although we're still working on that last part).

But now, every time I see a picture from our trip or recognize a smell or a sound, a small pang hits my heart. Sometimes I find myself just feeling sad, like something is missing, and then I get a reminder about Thailand and I know what the void is.  I think back to all the people we met, the pad thai we ate, the Changs we drank, and the memories we made, and I know that I would make that same decision to go to Thailand a million times again.  It was amazing, even though I miss it dearly now...but I guess it's nice to have something to miss. And when things aren't going so well, and we can't find jobs, and we don't have any money, and it won't stop snowing, there's one thing we tell ourselves: "no matter what happens ...we'll always have Thailand," and that makes me feel a little bit better.

Wishing you all the same luck in finding your own adventure.

Love always,
Cyrus and Paige